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Am I being selfish and/or petty?

So something that has been crossing my mind alot as I am getting closer to turning 30 in January is how unfair (not sure if that is the word I really want to use) the world is for single people.

Like right now my sister is pregnant and wants me to throw her a baby shower.  I really don't want to (because I am lazy) and I am not in the financial position to do so.

I have been trying to get myself out of debt for the last 7 years and have been slowly making progress despite having over $5,000.00 in medical and dental expenses this year alone.  I really don't want to have to rack my debts back up to throw a party. (Just let me make and decorate a cake or buy a gift and call it done)

Which brings me to the am I being petty and selfish because as a single person you get jack shit for any sort of life accomplishment.  Getting married here's some money, a giant party, and gifts. Having a baby here have money a party and gifts.  My sister had around $15,000 in cash after her wedding that she was able to put to a down payment on a house.  I just got a "well you will get the same when you get married."

Except I am not.  I don't want to get married. I don't want to have children.  I can't even afford to move out on my own (until I can payoff my car, student loans, and credit cards) The cost to rent a place is not really feasible on a single income. I'd be spending like half my take home pay on rent alone.  Any accomplishments I have are personal so are downplayed or not even acknowledged.

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Surgery Update

So the surgery went well and everything is healing up nicely.  I was even able to go camping this past weekend.

To date I have lost 30lbs and it hasn't even been a full 3 weeks (I'm so happy about this).

On the downside Mother has been a bit of a jerk to me since the surgery and I (and my councilor) think it is because she is feeling jealous.  I also get the feeling she may be starting to feel threatened that she will be the heaviest in the house by fact that I am loosing weight so rapidly.

At this point I am finding her bad attitude rather amusing because if she feels threatened that she will be the heaviest in the house it's like "mom I have a long way to go before I am even close to your weight (which is somewhere around 220 I think) 30lbs out of 350lbs (total weight not just excess) is not a lot I need to loose another 100 to match your weight".

I still have between 150 and 200lbs to go and the rate at which I will be loosing weight is going to slow down over the next couple months so she really needs to chill out.

So what's happening

So Monday I am scheduled for gastric bypass surgery and I am really excited.  I can't wait to loose a lot of weight and be able to wear normally sized clothes and stuff.

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Hitting the hall

In January I turn 26 and when I do I have two options hit whe wall financially or take a risk and take some time to dig myself out.

I have gotten myself into this problem and I will damn well get myself out of it.

As some may know when one turns 26 they have to get their own health insurance if it is more cost effective then staying under parents plan until 31 (which for me it would be cheaper to get my own, kind of f*cked up if you ask me).

Where I am financially this is not really feasible. If I were not bogged down in credit card dept(my stupidity) it would not be such a problem to pay the monthly due or any co-pays I would need. As it is now if I were to get the insurance I would be left with only around $50.00 of my take home pay on a weekly basis. Which is not a whole heck of a lot, hell I'd use more then half that on the co-pay if I did need a doctors appointment.

As such I think I may run the risk and go without health insurance for a period (hopefully less then a year) and pay down my cc and other depts as much as I can in that time frame. Frankly I can't see myself living on $50 a week and not running up additional dept so I may as well run this risk while I am young and relatively healthy.


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To begin I will say I'm really pissed with my sister right now (understatement).

Shortly after her wedding she was considering getting bariatric surgery but stopped after finding out her new husbands insurance did not cover it.  Her husband got a new job and new insurance now covers it.  So sister decided that she is going to do it now instead of waiting untill after tax season.

Right now is exactly when we (or more precisely she) starts picking up work load wise as we have to get everything moving for wrapping up this year and beginning the new year.  In the next three weeks we have to do year end planning, start getting data for 1099's, and year end payroll which in and of itself has a lot going into it.

Why this pisses me off is because like everytime she takes off she has been leaving everything until last minute (like preparing for being out for a week) and will thus leave with only half of the things wrapped up so dad and I get saddled with the rest.  For example I know a couple things are coming up and when I ask about them she says "oh that's not due untill the end of December" which is exactly when she scheduled to be out.  When I ask if it's something she can do a head of time she says she can but that she is going to hold off. 

When I have taken off at the end of the year I make sure everything that I have to do is done so that all they may have to do of my job is answer the phones and maybe postmark and mail some things.  Even then the envelopes are already stuffed and sealed so all they need to do is send it through the meter the day they need it mailed.




The other thing I am pissed about is getting scolded yet again for her mistakes.  When we mail things to clients (letters, reminders, etc.)  we are supposed to scan them into the client's file so we have record of what we sent.  Last year sister was to include a Year end payroll reminder letter to every one which she did but she failed to scan it into a single client's file so I had to search and get yelled at for it not being in the files because she didn't follow the procedure.

This is nothing new I always get yelled at for things not being in the file or procedures not being followed when most of the time it's sister's screw ups but I seem to be the one always getting yelled at for it because I actually take it seriously where with her it goes in one ear and out the other.

I'm just sick and tired of always getting the brunt of the scolding just because I actually listen and care unlike sister.

Thoughts on working more

Spreading the word - calling artists

Saw this contest link posted on tumblr thought I would share it.

http://www.welovefine.com/contest/27-transformers-design-contest

appears to be a t-shirt design contest with a money prize for artists

F You P-unit!!

So parents have turned what should have been a nice relaxing day off into shit.

First off mom started an argument with dad and then left to go shopping.  As usual mom starting these arguements leaves dad pissy the rest of the day which means hell for anyone else.

Most of the day was fine because I stayed in my room and kept to myself.  Around 3 I ran to the mall to see about getting earring protectors (got something that will hopefully work). 

When I came back I asked my brother what was going on for dinner as I skipped lunch so I was really hungry.  Nothing was planned so I got some of my left overs from last week out of the freezer in the garage.  While waiting for it to heat I had a little piece of pound cake since I found someone had opened it while I was gone (treats go fast in my house so if you want any you'd better get while the getting is good)

So while I am eating my dinner dad comes in and starts bitching about why the pound cake is almost gone I said I had some and brother said he did too dad left I thought that was it.  Later I brought up stairs ice cream that I bought a while back and was not wild about and asked if he wanted it.  His response "no, I don't want your ice cream I want you not eating everything in the house". 

Thanks for making me feel like some kind of disgusting pig.  I just went back to my room but that pissed me off because everything I ate today with the exception of a slice of pound cake was stuff I bought.  I don't need that kind of crap attitude when I'm trying to be nice.

A few hours later when they decided they were ready to eat dad got mad that I didn't immediately respond when he was yelling downstairs to see if I wanted any.  I live in the basement i don't always hear when people are yelling to me through walls and floor/ceiling,  also if I have AC or movie running its even harder.  If I don't respond its not because I am willfully ignoring you I didn't hear you.  So stop yelling at me like I'm being difficult

Last dad threatened pouring bleach on my car because I parked to close to the end of the drive way and they were putting out the garbage cans (which happen to have maggots all over them again).  It's like damn let me know then give me 2 seconds to grab my keys and I'll move my car.  Don't fucking threaten to pour bleach on it because your in a crappy mood.  Also because I was in such a rush to get out side to save my car I stepped on my iPad charger and bent the prong, hopefully I can bend it back and it still works.

Its like right now my existence is an irritant and no matter what I do I'm screwed.  And I know all these things probably seem insignificant and petty but this stuff really bothers me.

P.s. got my files on an external hard drive and my computer reformatted.  It's still going to take a while to get all my programs back and running though

Gonna Attempt to Laptop Fix Myself

First I'm going to say I really like the tech guy at staples.  The one I got today is the same one I've had the last few times I've gone to Staple for computer stuff.  What I like is that he gave it to me straight and gave me a few options on what I could do. (I now feel empowered to embark on this computer repair attempt)

First off he told me straight out it would not be worth it to have them do a data recovery and repair as having them restore my data and fix the machine would run me between $400-500 and even then that would not guarantee how long the computer will last.

Thus the second option for around that price or a little more I can get a new laptop and have them set it up for me (cost about $100 for them to set it up) which would include transferring my data from the old machine to the new one and installing programs.

The third option, which is the one I'm going to try, was to buy a dock (cost $45) that would turn my laptops hard drive into and external hard drive and use another computer to transfer the data to a different external hard drive.  After the data is transfered then I put the hard drive back in the laptop and contact HP for the disks to reinstall windows on my laptop (which he told me may cost me $20-30) then once I receive the disks I reinstall the OS and it should work again assuming that there is no hardware damage, which there should not be any.

I think I should be able to manage that all on my own especially because he took the hard drive out right there (so I saw how easy it was to do) and quickly checked on one of their computers to see that my data was on the drive and looked ok.

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Rawww!

Laptop died!  So norton found that what was causing problems was corrupted windows files, the guy told me they fixed it and to work play on my laptop and they would call me to check on status.  They have not called yet but not much they would be able to do at this point anyway since I can't even get to the login screen.

I was at least able to back up my images and a majority of my other files but was not able to get to my music and videos in time .  I'll probably be handing over my laptop to my dad's computer guy to try to fix.  If he can't recover the files it will be a pain to recover everything lost but not as bad as my images

I just realized thank god I cut and paste the images into my external hard drive ( don't need computer guy reporting the mass amount of bot porn on my computer back to my father)

I really need to go learn how to fix my computer myself cause this is getting to be a pain in the ass

PS I think the corrupted windows files were caused by norton because this has happened before on my desk top  computer and it was something to do with the automatic back up thing fucking up the files

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